I just flipped past Fear Factor on Fox?PLEASE believe I do not watch Fear Factor like it’s a valid show?but people were spitting milk into glasses, and I just knew that that milk had been sucked straight from a teat of some sort. I win: they were racing to suck milk from goats and fill up the glasses.

Now, that’s just unsanitary. Not for the people?they just nasty. But that goat don’t want you suckin on his titties! What if those people have herpes? Or HPV? Or mouth cooties? Now the goat has gingivitis of the titty and who’s gonna say something about it? And that woman goat might take offense to being suckled by another woman?now you’ve turned that goat into a lesbian and she couldn’t say anything about it.

And PETA is still trying to jock people’s Starter jackets.